There has been a few questions about Bangkok over the past months. I
have been there for quite some time now, and here are some notes on
the city from an a.s.s. point of view. You will have to forgive me my
broken English, and instead thank your God that I didn't write in my
own language...

First, a non-standard disclaimer for those few of us whose brain is
not in good working order. Hopefully it saves me from a few flames:

Yes, there are lots of exceptions to all things I mention
below. Obvious ones, like there being no gogo girls in a gay bar, and
less obvious ones, like that a few bars charge an entrance fee. I know
that, and I am not trying to fool you, but I didn't want to try and
write a book, either. Email me and I will elaborate for those of you
who really plan to go down there - addresses, prices, customs, tips
and ideas.

Yes, there is aids in Bangkok. And it is not to be taken lightly. I
can only say that if you are as careful as you should be in New York
or Washington, you will do alright in Bangkok too. Use the shower, use
condoms, stay away from dope addicts, and so on. But also do remember
that at least some of the things you have heard of Bangkok have been
brought to you by courtesy of the Moral Majority, and they are no
better doctors than the rest of us.

Yes, there is slavery in Bangkok. Some girls work against their
will. Most don't, however, in the sense that they could just as easily
have chosen other jobs. The "kept" girls are usually found in the
short-time hotels - if this is a problem for you, simply stay away
from the short-time hotels. Another way of handling this is, of
course, to be gentle and gentlemanry and give the girl a good time
whether she is a slave or not.

Yes, there is child prostitution. I have been offered 9-years-olds,
and 14- years-olds are not uncommon. In a normal bar you will easily
find at least some underage girls ( - 18).But while this does exist,
please keep in mind that the average Thai girl looks younger than her
Western counterpart. You will find many 20-years-olds looking at least
five years younger. Here too, if child prostitution turns you off, be
careful when you select your girl in a short-time hotel.

So much for the lengthy disclaimer. Now I have figured that the best
way to do this is to give you a few Scenarios, and then stand at
attention when some of you email or follow-up asking for more
details. I cannot promise to deliver, but I'll do my best.

What do a.s.s. people want? Well, I suppose most of us want
girls. Then some of us want men, and a select few of us want other
things like ducks and sheep... I know what I want, however, so I'll be
selfish enough to stay on the subject How To Get Girls. Sorry, but I
do not know very much of the gay scene. There is a sheep farm near the
airport, tho' :-)

  You can go to a massage parlour. Then you will find yourself in a bar- 
or restaurant type of an establishment, where you can start the
evening with some good food or a drink, if you wish. While you satisfy
the demands of your stomach, you can look into an adjoining room,
separated from the bar by a large glass wall. It is in fact a one-way
mirror, meaning that those in the other room cannot see you. "Those in
the other room" are girls; between ten and two hundred, depending on
the establishment. Slowly and carefully you select the one(s) you
want, then both of you walk up a floor to one of the bedrooms. The
bedroom is usually rather luxurious, with huge mirrors, wall- to-wall
carpeting, and always with a bathtub. There will also be an inflatable
mattress propped up against a wall. You undress, the girl gives you a
thorough bath and a relaxing massage. She then covers the mattress
with soap lather and bids you to lie down on it. When you have done,
she covers you with lather, from your neck down, and proceeds to scrub
you. With herself! She will use her breasts, and her pubic hair - not
her hands. If at any time you feel like doing anything else than just
relaxing and getting scrubbed, you are free to do so; in fact, she
will be very surprised if you try to keep your hands, and other parts
of your body, off her. Almost anything goes, especially if you act
like a gentleman..

  You can visit a short-time hotel. Here, an attendant will notice that you 
arrive alone, and will show you to a room and ask you for your
preferences.  You tell him what you want and for how long you want it
- you can usually choose between short-time which is up to one hour,
full night which is until the next morning whatever the time may be
now, and take-out which is a full night in the location of your
choice. A group of girls, roughly corresponding with your wishes, are
led into the room for your inspection.  You pay the attendant, then
withdraw to another room (or a cab) with your girl. The hotel girls
are usually younger than most other "available" girls in Bangkok, 14-
and 15-years-olds being rather common. They are in effect "owned" by
the hotel, which means that you can treat them more or less any way
you want - and many men do. Hotels like this should be like paradise
for those of us who are into S&M.

  You can go to a downstairs bar. There will perhaps be one or two gentle 
pushers at the entrance, but they do take no for an answer, and they
are usually scantily clad lookers anyway, so you do not feel very
pushed. Once inside, you are led to a table and asked for your
order. You can spend a whole evening in the bar, just sipping beer or
coke, listening to the music, watching the gogo dancing, chatting with
the girls. When a girl notices that your glass is almost empty she
will ask if you want one more, but it is okay to say no if you feel
like it. Now and then (in the beginning) a dancer not currently on
stage will approach you and ask if she may join you. If you say no,
she will not be offended. If you say yes, she will sit down, and good
manners dictate that you buy her a (cheap) drink. There will be ten to
sixty girls in the bar, some dancing, some mingling with the crowd,
some bartending. If anyone should strike your fancy, you either take
eye contact with her or ask another girl to bring her to your table -
in any event you will soon be sitting close together. Sooner or later
there will be a question of her leaving the bar with you: you then pay
a "bar fee", which is supposed to reimburse the bar owner for losing
an employee for the remaining hours of the evening. You leave, and
what happens after that is up to you. She will be in no doubt of your
intentions, however, and will not disappoint you. In the morning
(meaning around noon) she will say good bye - it is then customary to
discreetly slip a little "gift", a banknote or two, in her handbag.
  You can go to an upstairs bar. Just read everything I have written about 
the downstairs bars, and pipe it through "ROWDY". This is where you
get the topless dancing. This is where you get the bottomless
dancing. This is where you get the live shows, the snake shows, the
ping pong shows, the candle shows, the razorblade shows, the
chopsticks shows, the banana shows, the blowpipe shows, the bottle
opener shows... This is where every girl within reach of your hands is
fair game for some groping and fondling.  This is where sometimes you
can get a blowjob in full public. Or screw the girl of your choice in
a private room, or on the bar counter. The reason for this
upstairs/downstairs division is this: Thailand has, believe it or not,
tough obscenity laws - you are allowed to display far more skin in the
American bible belt. Nipples are taboo, naked girls of course even
more so. Still, most Bangkok policemen know where their income comes
from, so they are not too keen on actually catching anyone in the
act. So when it is razzia time, the doorman rings a warning bell, the
policemen walk calmly and slowly up the stairs - and when they finally
reach the top all the girls have had ample time to get into their baby

  You can have dinner. This particular kind is available in three or four 
places, and the chefs are good in all of them. You select a companion
much like you did in the massage parlour, and then you and your party
(this is more fun if you are a group of people) retreat to a private
dining room. There is a low table, and cushions on the floor instead
of chairs. You order your food, it arrives, and the meal begins. It is
a no-hands meal - meaning that you do not use your hands. Instead your
girl will feed you, put the glass to your lips, wipe you with the
napkin, in short do everything except chew the food for you. In the
meantime, you are perfectly free and welcome to use your hands to find
out how her breasts feel, or to discover that she has no panties
on. It is quite common for the meal to end with the girls getting
fucked on the table...before maybe ordering some take-away food to
your own hotel room!

  You can call an escort agency. Here is not so much to say, except that 
almost all escort girls do expect to get laid sometime during the
date. You pay higher for local movie actresses (or "movie stars", as
the ads say) and for foreign girls. Especially the latter. I once met
an American girl who could prove that she had made a photo spread in
Penthouse 1991 - she showed me the magazine, and it was her, down to
the birth marks - and I could well understand Bob Guccione selecting
her (so did I!). Foreign means usually Japanese or Latins; there are a
few Westerners, but there seems to be no Negro girls. Thai racism (I
am not moralizing, every country has some racism); Thais are just not
too fond of Negros. Many escort agencies are simply bars, sending
their girls to your hotel room instead of you coming to select them
yourself. Unless you really want a white girl, or a Japanese, do go
and select her yourself instead - cheaper, better selection, and more

  You can have a hamburger. I mention this to make the list more 
complete. Outside a specific hamburger restaurant is the best chance
of finding guys selling very young girls - pre-teens. You strike
contact with the guy, he asks you to meet him somewhere close in an
hour, and will then bring one or two school girls for you to look
over. This is a very discrete trade: he will not approach you, but
will answer your questions. And if you talk with the wrong guy, he
will usually know just who is the right one.

  You can go to a coffee shop. There are a few notorious ones, but it must 
be said that most coffee shops are as "respectable" as any European
cafeteria.  Open nearly 24 hours a day. Almost empty in the daytime,
packed with girls in the evening, doubly so after bar closing
times. Treat them as singles bars, but with working girls. Worth
visiting, even if you only want to feel the atmosphere. The one in
Grace Hotel is special: this is an Arab hangout. The Grace girls are
often - but far from always!! - heavily painted, rather fleshy
matrons, which is presumably what the visiting sheiks wants. For
various reasons Arabs are not so well seen in Thailand, especially
among the girls, so there is a kind of "social barrier" between girls
who consort with Arabs and those who do not. The approach pattern is
the same as in the bars: smile at a girl, or offer her a drink, and
you are halfway there. No bar fees, and the drinks are cheap.

  You can go to an island. This is not really on the subject on How To 
Get Girls, but it is worth mentioning anyway. You and a buddy or two
go to a beach resort, like Pattaya, or Phuket, or Koh Samet, and talk
to any of the boat owners in the harbor. He agrees to meet you at a
specified time the next day. Then you spend the evening storing up on
good books, rented scuba gear, frisbees, things like that - and go bar
hunting. There are bars, and there will be bar girls, and some of them
will agree to join you the next day.  Come the next day, your party
(two or three guys, five or six girls, perhaps) transfers to the ship
and is taken to one of the thousands of small paradise islands off the
coast of Thailand. It will be deserted, maybe with a hut or a
bungalow, but with no people at all. Then you agree with the skipper
to come by every day with fresh food, and to pick you up again in a
week. It is a great way of getting both a good tan, a good relaxation,
and all your sexual fantasies fulfilled. Last time I did this, we
quickly established a house rule that no girl was ever allowed to wear
any piece of clothing except her sandals. That, plus our other rule
that every girl had to in some appropriate way or another earn her
food before every meal, turned the stay in a rather pleasant one,
thank you.

And with that, I bid you good-bye!

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The World Sex Guide at Last update: 1998/07/21. Send material to Atta.
1994-98 by Atta. Permission is granted to freely copy, modify, and distribute this document in whole or in part, provided that it is not done for profit and that this entire copyright notice remains attached.
>1994-98 by Atta. Permission is granted to freely copy, modify, and distribute this document in whole or in part, provided that it is not done for profit and that this entire copyright notice remains attached.