Randy Farang's Beginner's Guide to Bangkok 
 
The commercial sex scene in Bangkok can be roughly grouped into three
categories: (1) the bars, (2) the massage parlors, and (3) everything else.
 This report covers the bar scene. 
 
For the beginner, we suggests the bars. If you start with a visit to a
massage parlor on your first trip to the Magic Kingdom, there is a better
than even chance that you'll end up going to the massage parlor where your
friendly taxi driver gets a hefty commission.  To cover that commission,
you will get charged more.  If you don't like the prices or the available
girls, you will need to take a taxi to a new locale and that could be
problematic since  the massage parlors are generally some distance from
each other (except perhaps for the two Chao Phaya parlors on Si Ayutthaya),
and even when they are not, its easy to get lost if this is your first time
in Bangkok.   
 
On the other hand, when you don't like the prices or choices in a bar
located in, say, Patpong, you simply pay for your drink and head over to
the bar next door.  And if you are coming from the U.S., you have probably
seen massage parlors before - although we'll grant that its unlikely that
you have seen anything like the massage parlors found in Bangkok.  But you
probably won't find anything like Patpong or Nana Plaza anywhere outside
Bangok.   
 
The Bars: 
 
Bangkok has plenty of bars.  And many of those bars have available girls
(poo-ying.)  But there are three main bar areas frequented by non-locals:
(1) Patpong, (2) Nana Plaza, and (3) Soi Cowboy. 
 
Taxi drivers will know how to get you to all of these areas, but when the
taxi driver senses that you are new to Bangkok (and he will), he will try
to steer you to a massage parlor or brothel where he is certain to get a
commission.  Politely, but firmly, insist that you want to go to Nana
Plaza, Patpong, etc.   And don't fall for the ruse we fell for the first
time we came here about ten years ago: "Sorry mister, Patpong closed on
Sunday.  I take you better place."  It wasn't. 
 
The protocol for all bars is basically about the same, although prices
vary.  The girls will approach you and ask that you to buy them a drink
("cola").  "Lady drinks" run about B50 to B75 ($US2-3).  You are under no
obligation to buy, and if you do buy, you are under no obligation to stay
with that girl all night.  Consequently, if you are intrigued by a girl,
but not yet certain if you want to make a larger investment, this is a low
cost way to determine if you wish to proceed further.  If you decide to
proceed further, you must pay a "bar fine" to get the girl out the bar. 
This can run from about B150 to B350 ($US6-14.)  On top of that, you must
pay the girl for her services.   
 
You can take the girl out for "short time" (an hour or so) or "long time"
(all night.)  Prices and willingness to do "longtime" vary from girl to
girl and from bar to bar.   
 
 
1.	Patpong: 
 
Opinions are mixed about Patpong these days.  Its not as wild as it once
was, and certainly not as wild as Nana Plaza.  In Patpong you will see
groups of tourists, including middle aged houswifes from Des Moines, here
to see Bangkok's naughty nightlife (always a great story when they get back
home) and shop for souvieniers at the nightmarket that fills the two main
(heterosexual/non-Japanese) streets of Patpong.  These two streets turn
into a night market at dusk filled with vendors selling t-shirts, fake
rolexs, etc. 
 
On the other hand, it still has some great bars.  Some of the most
beautiful girls work here.  The nightmarket adds a bit a frenetic quality
to the scene.  If you're slightly nervous first-timer, this may be the best
place to start. 
 
The downstair bars are generally safe.  The upstairs bars have sex shows,
but many are rip-offs.  In the upstairs bars, you can end up getting
charged $80 for a beer and threatened with bodily harm if you refuse to
pay.  It's useless to provide the names of the rip off bars since they
change names so often.  Don't believe the touts.  If you really want to see
a sex show, go to a bar operated by the King's Group or ask for a
recommendation in one of the downstairs bar operated by the King's Group.  
 
The King's Group is a chain of Patpong bars all controlled by one owners. 
They are generally reliable and safe.  The word "King" or "Queen" will
usually be in the name of the bar.  The girls are supposedly tested
periodically, and those with HIV are retired.  The HIV rate is supposed to
be less than 1% in the King's Group, but always use a condom.   
 
Some of Randy's favorite bars include: 
 
-	Kings I, II and III: Small bars, but beautiful girls on stage.
The music tends toward techno-pop.  Some of the better looking girls
can be a bit stand-offish, unless you look Japanese or rich (two
categories that seem to overlap in the minds of most bar girls.)  Most
of the girls here prefer shorttime over long time.  These bars get
packed and pretty wild starting at around 10:00 p.m.  Not for the
claustrophobic.
 
-	Safari: This bar seems to have younger *looking* girls, but they are
all 18+.   The girls wear patsies when dancing.  They play less
techno-pop; you are more likely to hear rock n' roll classics such as the
Stones, ZZ Top, etc., here.  It may be owned by an American or a Brit (just
a guess.)  The atmosphere here is very friendly; it seems less
sophisticated than, and has a funkiness that you cannot find at, the Kings'
Group bars.  
 
-	Limelight: Well lit bar; some real beauties.  Great massages are
available while you are nursing your beer watching the girls dance up on
the stage.  The management is very friendly.   
 
-	Kangaroo Bar (upstairs): Not for the faint of heart.  For about B400,
you'll get a blow job while you sit at the bar.  
 
The bar fines in Patpong are currently B350.  The bars all close around
2:00 a.m.  After 2:00 p.m. there are a couple of discos on Patpong.  The
prices for the extracurricular services vary, but figure about B1000 to
1500 for a short time.  Unless your hotel is close and allows girls, you
will have to rent a short time room, which means another B250.  There are
several short time hotels on Patpong; the girls know where they are (there is
one right next to the Limelight, on the left-hand side as you face the
front of the bar.)  Most of the better looking and more sophisticated girls
prefer short time liasons since they can earn more money by going out with
several customers in the course of one night.  A "long time" can be quite
expensive and many of the really beauties are just not willing to do it
unless you make it economically worthwhile. 
 
The best book on Patpong is Cleo Odzer's, "Patpong Sisters."  Ms. Odzer
apparently wrote the book from research while conducted for a doctoral
dissertation on prostitution in Thailand.  A good read, and generally
accurate. 
 
The nearby hotels include: Wall Street Inn ($60), Montien ($100), and Dusit
Thani ($140++).  Good luck getting a girl into the Dusti Thani. 
 
2.	Nana Plaza 
 
Nana is wild.  You won't find very many middle aged housewifes from Des
Moines here.  Although the official closing time is 2:00 a.m., the real
closing time seems to be closer to 4:00 a.m.   
 
Nana is located near the beginning of Sukhimvit.  It's an entertainment
complex consisting of three stories of bars built around an open plaza. 
Most of the bars are on the first floor, and the last we checked, there was
only one bar on the third floor.  But Nana is gaining in popularity, and
this could easily change. 
 
Over the last few years the quality of the girls at Nana has improved
markedly so that it now almost equals Patpong.  Prices are starting to
catch up to Patpong now too.  The bar fines are the same, but the charges
for extracirrucular activity are generally lower.  Some of the better bars
in Soi Nana include: 
 
-	Hollywood Royale: This bar gets packed.  After about 10:00
p.m. they have lesbian sex shows on stage.  The quality of girls here 
varies tremendously.
 
-	Bubblegum: Small bar to the left as you enter the plaza. 
 
-	Farang Connection - Second Floor; more rock n' roll than technopop. 
Seems to be popular with the Ex Pat population. 
 
Nearby hotels include the Landmark ($130++) - which will sometimes allow
guests - Nana Hotel ($38) - which always allows guests - and several
others. 
 
3.           Soi Cowboy: 
 
This bar area has gone down hill in recent years.  It used to be the
favorite among the expatriates, but Soi Nana now has that honor.  It is
generally cheaper than either Patpong or Nana Plaza, and this is reflected
in the quality of the women available.  The best bar is probably Tilac.   

===========================================================================
Date: Tue, 4 Feb 1997 20:37:05 -0800 (PST)
Subject: Re: info ..hey I'm in thailand !!!!!!!!

Hey Atta:

howdy....Okay...fingering keys at a cyber cafe about 100m from the nana.

i'm sure you know about the new bars at the nana...the touts are
really more agressive to get you in the bar than previous years..  The
new thermae is open and not impressive....really , really, really,
scuzzy and well...had the sense of scraping the bottom of the barrell.

Down the street from the Dynasty Inn is the Heidelburg. restaurant.
Good european food but man...old fat belly, balding, beer belching
germans....and the women are...aahhhhh.....well weathered! 

I would say the best place to go to these days is the pretty girl and
vodoo bar.  the royale..seems to have an awful lot of trannys and I
mean alot.

===========================================================================
Date: Fri, 28 Nov 1997 01:48:49
Subject: Some advice on bars in Thailand

Here's some sencible advice from Meestah John on how to behave in the
girlie bars in Thailand. These are bits of wisdom that I haven't seen
anywhere else on the World Sex Guide pages.

When you go into the kind of Thai bars that are saturated in pink
neon, you will generally fare if better if you:

TAKE IT EASY. This is the very first precaution and one that you
should take to heart even before you leave your hotel room. The whole
environment that you are about to enter is likely to be assaultive to
your senses and your hormones. The bars at places like Pattaya,
Patpong, Soi Nana, Patong are side by side in limited areas, and they
compete with each other by turning up the volume of the music. The
prostitutes often scream and holler to attract your attention. Lights
flicker. Sex is in the air. - This is likely to produce a state of
erotic hysteria, and it can make you go bonkers in a way that is not
productive to good experiences.

You will notice the effect on some males that frequent these places -
round midnight you will see some disheveled figures who have pissed in
their pants, crying in their last beer at the now deserted bars.

There is no need to get worked up and going down that way. You will
inevitably find that sweet beautiful orchid fantasy girl of your wet
dreams. If she is not there in the first bar, she'll be at the next
... or the next. Don't worry. The more you keep your cool, the more
likely you are to meet her.

And the more likely she will be to accept your proposal when you
approach her. There are few things Thai prostitutes dislike more than
a moody, brooding, emotionally unbalanced costumer. It makes their own
bad feelings come alive. To them it ranks along with lack of personal
cleanliness and rude manners. So they will look towards the composed
and good spirited men first, and they will treat such a man better
than the feeble wretch.

There's a rythm to the night bar scene at places like Pattaya and
Patong. The action start rolling around eight o'clock. The sex market
reaches its peak between 9 and 10 pm when most costumers have finished
their evening meal and now go out in search of adventure. That is the
hour when the greatest number of women are available and looking for
business. The closer you get to midnight, the more the bars become
empty of people. After midnight you will mostly meet the human
debritus of the adulturous night.

MAKE FRIENDS WITH THE BAR OWNER. When you sit down at a bar and order
a drink, take your time. Eye the girls, talk amiably with them. And
try to establish a good rapport with the owner of the place if he is
at all there. The bar owners generally are jovial and nice to their
guests. After all they are the very people he lives on, and he is in
fierce competition with his colleagues who are everywhere around
him. Your opinon of his bar matters to him. (Notice the first class
cocktails they serve. You won't get a better Mai Tai anywhere, not
even at the Ritz in Paris. This is what a free market does.)

Moreover, the bar owner is the one who hires and fires the girls you
are after. In his world their purpose is to attract men like you. So
they will immediately notice if you and him are becoming pals. The
girl is likely to state a more sensible price for her favours if you
want to strike up a deal, and she will definately not try to cheat
you. In fact she will be a bit extra kind to you for fear that you
might say something negative about her working spirit to your pal, her
boss.

DO NOT OVERPAY THE GIRLS. This will only empty your wallet and
contribute to the vicious circle that has destroyed (to my mind)
places like Patpong and Pattaya.

At Patong, where the market still makes sense, the proper price should
be 600 baht for a short time and 100 baht to the bar for taking the
girl away. But greed is also at work here, and most girls will start
out demanding 1000 baht for herself and 300 for the bar.

As for me, I am willing to pay more than 600 to her - if she is
nice. But no more than 1000 at the very most. 600 is fair, and the
distance up to 1000 is negotiable. What I like the best is a decent
600 for starters and then a possible tip according to her performance
and to my good heart, after the fact. But I don't like to get fleeced
from the beginning.

IF YOU HAVE YOUR MONEY STOLEN BY A BARGIRL, complain immediately to
the bar owner. He will not like it at all, it ruins the reputation of
his business, and he has the right connections to the police.

But please ask yourself "is it really true that she took my money?" An
acusation of this kind can have very serious consequences for the
girl. It could land her in prison for a year.

There is an authentic insident where a patron accused a girl of
stealing his wallet. He went to the bar owner who went with him to the
police. Everybody, including the girl, went to his hotel room - where
the wallet was found in the freeze department of the fridge. He had
put it there himself for safety and forgotten about it. The bar owner
rightfully made him apologize to the girl in front of the police
officer and pay her five thousand on the spot.

BRING YOU OWN CONDOMS. Thai condoms are often not safe due to bad
storage conditions. And bring "dry" rubbers, without lubricant or
creme. It has a bad chemical taste to it, and it will make the girl
gag. If you need lubricant, bring a tube of K.Y. and apply that at the
moment before penetration.

===========================================================================
Subject:      [ASP] Bangkok Private Club report
Date:         1998/01/06

Back in 93 I had the pleasure of going to the Chamois Member Club in BKK.
I was in Asia on business and took a 3 day stop in Bangkok in between
Seoul and Singapore.Since I was on the business tab I stayed in a nice
suite at the Shangri-la on the river. This was in May and it was hotter
than hades! The first two nights I checked out the hotel bar and Patpong
scenes. Patpong was interesting but I had been before and this time it
was a little loud and congested for me so the third night I decided to
try something different. Fodor's guidebook had mentioned the Chamois
Club, a private "upscale" nightclub with a reputation for having
beautiful hostesses. I set off about 8pm, first stopping at the hotel
desk to get directions for the taxi. Both men at the desk immediately
brightened up at the mention of the club and said I was very lucky to be
going there, they envied me! So it must have had a good local reputation.
They also pronounced it as the "Cha -moy" club and gave me a card with
the address in Thai for the driver.

The cab took me to a residential area near some embassies, I think, and I
went into a one level standalone building and stood in a small lobby.
Soon a woman appeared who introduced herself as a manager. She said they
were open, but most of the girls would not be here for about an hour as
it was slow season. I said I would go eat and come back. Luckily the cab
was still there as I think he was waiting to go in and get his commission
for delivering me there - very common in Asia.	I took the taxi to the
Hard Rock Cafe and had a good burger and beer at the bar, and was able to
watch and American airline pilot (not American Airlines) make an ass of
himself trying to impress some stewardesses from another airline. About
9:30 I headed back to the nightclub and saw the same manager, who sat me
down at a desk and explained why I should like to become a member of the
club. There were several expensive options, from lifetime down to one
year, and I think they ran from several hundred to over $1000. But you
got freebies such as liquor and free barfines depending on your level of
membership. I explained that I was just there for one more day and
wouldn't be back for several years and settled for the temporary
membership I think about $15. Even though you had to listen to the pitch,
it was low key and they accepted what you wanted.

I entered the club and sat at the bar, which had very beautiflul girls
pouring drinks to some local-looking business and army types. At the far
end of the bar was an ugly old lady who handled all the money. I talked
with one of the cute bartenders who spoke fairly good english and she
explained how the club worked. There were seating areas with couches and
coffee tables tiered around a stage with band, and video monitors playing
Playboy videos. The female singer was singing popular Thai songs. There
were several private rooms which seemed to be busy, and groups of well
dressed hostesses went in and out of them. After a few drinks at the bar
and getting aquainted with the place, I went to a couch and sat, and
immediately a waiter appeared. Very friendly, spoke English, and took my
drink order-expensive at about $6 each I think(not beer). Soon, a mamasan
appeared followed by a string of girls, all very attractive and in
different sizes. I picked one friendly looking girl, who sat and smiled.
As I tried to talk to her I realized that all she did was smile, nod, and
clutch my arm really hard. Then I knew I had "pulled a boner" by not
asking for one who could speak English. As I had already chosen her, sat
for a while and bought her a ladies drink I asked the waiter what I
should do, not wanting everyone to lose face. He suggested I tip her and
went to get mamasan who came right away. I paid mamasan the barfine for
the girl anyway and gave the girl $20 so everyone went away happy ( I
wasn't on a budget on this trip so why not), and mamasan soon appeared
with a very pretty girl that spoke English fairly well. Her name was
"Aaaaaaaaa" or something like that and she said she was a University
student who worked at this club on weekends.

After some more drinks and pleasant conversation, she went to the ladies
room and the waiter came over and asked if I would like to take this girl
out of the bar. "She's a very lovely girl and hasn't  been working here
very long". OK I said and paid him my bar tab and her bar fine of $40 I
think. She reappeared, the waiter whispered to her and she became very
happy and bouncy. She said she had to go change and would meet me at the
bar. She came back dressed fairly conservatively and I later found out
that while they may be dancers or hostesses in the club, they are usually
conservative in public. I asked if she wanted to come to my hotel and she
said "Short-time girl not allowed to go into First Class hotel". She got
a cab and we went to an ordinary looking 10 story hotel where she checked
in and I paid. Up the elevator to the room, which was fairly good - maybe
Ramada Inn standard- but the lights and AC were controlled by meter from
the front desk! This whole time after paying the bar fine she had never
mentioned any money, when I asked her at the club what I should pay, she
always deferred.

She suggested we take a bath, and undressed shyly. I on the other hand
was equipped with my stuntman's velcro outfit which comes off with one
pull (joke) and we went in the tub. She giggled at how "hairy" I was and
made appropriate comments on the size of my equimpent (insincere but
enjoyable) and we did mutual rubbing and scrubbing. She was indeed almost
perfect plus large breasts (natural) for a Thai girl. Out of the tub and
into the bed which she hopped into shyly and pulled the sheet up to her
neck.  I climbed in and the rest is left to your imagination. In summary
she was nice in all ways and overall better than expected.

After getting dressed, I gave her about $80 and she seemed very pleased
(1993 dollars) she asked if I would come back to the club tomorrow but I
explained I was on to Singapore.  She then invited me to a late dinner
since the club was closed now, so we went to a cafe, had a good cheap
meal and more chatting. Getting tired, so I paid for dinner and gave her
another $10 for taxi home although she didn't want the money.  All in all
a very pleasurable (but not cheap) experience.	Would like to know if
anyone else has been to Chamois, if it is still there, and if anyone has
been to similar clubs. Happy travelling!

===========================================================================
Date: Fri, 30 Jan 1998 08:04:51
Subject: Information on Bangkok bar jan 98

If you get tired of the usual scene in Patpong or Nana Entertainment
complex (as you inevitably will!) try to go off the beaten track for a
somewhat pricy but quiet bar with a good atmosphere and cheerful girls
- the Elysee Bar Lounge. It is located in a cul-de-sac to the left as
you enter Soi 11 on Sukhumvit - right across from the Calypso. You
will have to turn around the corner where there is a pittoresquely
decorated open-air bar - then you will se the Elysee at the far end of
this colorful little backyard. I like the Elysee because of the
playful mood of the girls, the quiet music that actually permits you
to hear your own voice as you talk, and of course the sweet
experiences I have had upstairs. (Yes, there has been at least one
annoying incident proving that this place on earth isn't perfect
either.)
    They charge 1600 bath for "short time" (one and a half hour) and
2100 for "long time" (all night). Also drinks are slightly expensive
here. But I still like it.


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The World Sex Guide at worldsexguide.org. Last update: 1998/07/21. Send material to Atta.
1994-98 by Atta. Permission is granted to freely copy, modify, and distribute this document in whole or in part, provided that it is not done for profit and that this entire copyright notice remains attached.
LL>The World Sex Guide at worldsexguide.org. Last update: 1998/07/21. Send material to Atta.
1994-98 by Atta. Permission is granted to freely copy, modify, and distribute this document in whole or in part, provided that it is not done for profit and that this entire copyright notice remains attached.