Tips and Tricks for having Fun in Bangkok

last update 9th April, 1996

Introduction

This report has been written by somebody who has fallen in love quite a few times with some Thai girls. Actually I have been in Thailand at least four times a year since 1989. There are many things that I did not experience in these years, like Patpong, the massage parlours, etc. But I did learn enough to be able to write this report, which I believe will help you finding your way through the Bangkok nightlife without nasty surprises.

One thing at the beginning: you are guest in a foreign country. Please behave as you would expect your guests to behave at your home, and treat the Thais and even more, the girls with respect. Then you will have some quite rewarding experiences.

General

There are a lot of various locations where entertainment is offered. This is Patpong, the more expensive area, Soi Cowboy (Soi 20) at Sukhumvit road and Nana Plaza(Soi 4), both close to each other (two kilometres). A ride with the Tuktuk between Nana and Cowboy will cost a foreigner between 30 and 50 Baht (locals pay 10). Soi Cowboy is the more traditional place, whereas at Nana Plaza always new places open up with new and different ambientes. Patpong is the famous road where the interesting shows are performed. In addition lots of different places offer similar entertainment. There are of course the massage parlours, the coffee shops and the 'NoHand' restaurants (where the girl will feed you and your hands can explore the girl in the meantime)..

Hotels

The following hotels (among others) are in the area of Sukhumvit road:

Nana Hotel (Soi 4), cheap (950 Bath), directly opposite the Nana Plaza

The Landmark (three times as expensive), 200 mtrs away from Nana Plaza

Grace Hotel (Soi 3), a bit more expensive than the Nana (970 Baht), 300 mtrs away from Nana Plaza (lots of Arabs there, but 24 hours Coffee Shop, Bowling, Table Tennis, Mini Bar), more pleasant than the Nana Hotel.

The Amari Boulevard Hotel (Soi 7), better than the Grace hotel, not as expensive as the Landmark

Even the Bangkok Hilton is only one kilometer away, i.e. a walk of about 20 minutes. But they do not accept visitors in your room without their ID cards and additional hassle.

All hotels do not object against visitors, the Landmark wants to have them out of your room before 23 hours.

Some bars even have a small bedroom directly on their premises (Fantasia). When you do business there, you will get a lot of applause when you come out again with your girl(s). In addition lots of boarding houses are available where you can stay for some hours. I have only used them once. You can get some interesting ones with mirrors all over the place.

The Program

Business usually starts at Nana Plaza and Soi Cowboy around 11 AM, the first dancing starts typically in one of the clubs at Nana Plaza at 14 hours. The clubs vary, depending on what rules I do not know. Some other bars have Happy Hour time between 11 AM until 20 o'clock. Girls are already present at this time in the bars but not yet much interested in business. Real business starts between 19 and 20 hours. The program usually means girls dancing on the stage, mostly topless (Nana Plaza, not that much at Soi Cowboy), some without any clothes (not in the afternoon). Typically the girls dance a suite of three to four songs until they get of the stage again. This way every dance girl will be upstage during the night. Special programs include popping balls out of their vulvas, playing with burning candles (dropping wax all over their body), pulling strings out of their vulvas etc (third floor at Nana Plaza, the Hollywood Strip). These programs usually start at 23 o'clock. There is no extra fee for this performance as you will have to pay at Patpong.

As it is illegal to show bare breasts the bars on the lower level usually do not offer topless dancing. But before the police reaches the upper level, the alarm system will guarantee that every girl is clothed. In addition the police moves typically slowly enough, they know that there is some compensation in for them anyway. But I have seen situtations where the police was on every level, and of course every girl was dressed. The programs are then reduced to what can be displayed without using tits and vulvas.

Official closing time is two o'clock in the morning. Depending on the presence of police some bars may continue till three, or even switch of all external lights and serve drinks till four. When you still did not find your girl till then go to the 24 hours coffee shops (Thermae, Soi 13).

The Gogo Bars

All bars have more or less the same construction: A central stage surrounded by a sill to place your drinks and stools. On the walls you will find one to three tier rows of seating with a small sill or small tables in front of you. The walls are all mirrors, which means that the girls can watch themselves dancing. On the stage there are a number of poles which the girls use for artistic activities (which can be quite interesting when the girls are more or less nude). All bars have extensive sound and light equipment, and at least once a night you will hear that famous song: 'One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble'. I know this is true.

By the way, avoid sitting at the stage. You only see the ankles of the girls, or you will get cramps in your neck, which is more likely. The best place to sit is the highest tier, first of all, here the girls object the least against being handled, and second, you got the best view.

The Girls

In these bars you will have various different kind of girls: waitresses, dance girls, "Hello girls" and Mama san. Mama san is basically the head of the girls (and it makes sense to have a good relation with her as well. This can save you some trouble, or even get you some advantages). The waitresses will always be dressed, but they accept a Ladies Drink as well. You might even try to invite these girls to your room too. The Hello girl usually sits outside and tries to entice the customers to enter the bar. Usually they are quite attractive but clothed and free to negotiate as well. Most chances to be invited of course have the dance girls, as they present themselves on stage with all their attributes plainly visible. Thai girls do not see this kind of business as something bad. Actually some even tell this as their choice of profession when they are young (I want to become a prostitute in a Bangkok bar). Of course there are bad cases where girls are confined in the bars or hotels. But this typically does not happen in the tourist bars, this is more in the bars and massage parlours that are only visited by the local people. Quite some girls come from border provinces or even neighbour countries like Cambodia and Laos. Their typical age is between 17 and 26 (18 would be legal, but I have seen 14 year old girls as well). They help each other a lot, become friends, so that this business does not hurt them too much. Still I have seen quite a few girls with cut marks on their wrists. Thailand is the country with the highest suicide rate in the world. Most of the girls do not have extensive education, so their language capabilites are very limited. Nevertheless I have seen girls speaking Japanese, English and German.

Bar Fine, Ladies Drink and Prices

Usually wherever you enter a bar in the evening one or more girls will come up to you. In the afternoon (when their work has not really started), they even leave you alone unless you ask them to join you. When you do not explicitly tell them to leave they expect a 'Ladies Drink', i.e. a small cola paid by you after a short while. They actually will say: 'Cola for me?', even when what they get can be an orange drink or something similar. Around 50 per cent of what you pay for that will be their share. Typically the price for such a drink is 65 Baht at Nana Plaza (60 Baht at Soi Cowboy, 70 Baht in Patpong). The drinks vary between 40 and 50 Baht during Happy Hour and 60 to 80 Baht in the night. You always have the choice to buy a girl free from her dancing activities, so that she stays with you for the rest of the day/night. This bar fine now is typically between 300 and 400 Baht. When the bar has already afternoon dancing, the fine paid then is valid only for the afternoon! . Once you have decided for a girl you are usually save from further nuisance from other girls (with the exception that every girl has some friends whom she wants to offer a bit of fortune as well, i.e. she asks you if you could pay a Ladies Drink (Cola) for her as well.).

Billing and Paying

You will have a glass/box in front of you where all bills will be saved. So you will always be able to calculate what you will have to pay in the end, which you should actually do from time to time to not run into some nasty surprises. Paying is always in cash, no credit cards are accepted. The waitress expects a tip of 10 to 50 Baht. Whenever you pay a Ladies drink, one token is torn of that respective bill and your lady hides it in some interesting places on her body.

Money Exchange

Money exchange booths are abundant in these areas. They are open seven days a week usually until 22 o'clock. Typically traveller cheques get a better rate than cash. The exchange fee is small, so you will get nearly the current bank rate for your money. Thai Farmers bank even accepts Eurocheques. So with you Eurocheque card you can change as in any European country. There is no additional charge for getting Baht with Eurocheques. On most banks and exchange booths you can even cash with your credit card.

The exchange rate currently is 1DM = 17 Baht, 100 Baht is 6 DM (5,88 DM to be exact).Actually the Baht is directly connected to the dollar rate (one Dollar is 25 Baht), which means when you get more Dollar for you Mark, you will get more Baht as well.

Behaviour

Please remember that you are a guest in a foreign country. Even when you believe that this kind of business might not require decent behaviour, Thai people see this differently. You will be treated with much more respect when you wear appropriate clothes (jeans and shirts are OK, shorts are out), and you get not too drunk in the night. In addition there are some basic rules: never touch anybody on his head (children might tolerate it, but they feel uneasy). Do not wear shoes when you enter a private house. Do not point your soles at anybody. And keep your hands of your girl in public. Affection is not shown outside the bars. This is slowly changing, especially the bar girls now accept your hand for a walk.

Behaviour in the bar: Try to find a dark corner in the bar. The girls usually do not like to be handled in the open. But in a dark corner you can check her out without any objections from her. There are a few exceptions, girls that do not even dress up again after their performance on the dance floor. They can make you real hot in front of all people. Do not bother, for most of them it is just fun.

In general, you are in the country of smiles. So forget your worries and be happy. Smile back and you will have much more success. Being rude does not pay back. Even when the Thai people have a high tolerance against violence, once you have crossed that limit, they turn berserk.

Thai girls, love and marriage

In Thailand the first priority is always the family. So all what these girls do is for themselves and for their family. Typically they have to support their parents and some brothers or sisters. So they do this job because they need the money in the first case, and this is one of the easiest way to get quite a decent amount of that. The average salary in most offices is between 5000 to 10000 Baht, i.e. US$200 to US$400. Still most of these girls try to hide this job from their families, but they know anyway.

So even when you believe your girl has fallen in love with you, be careful. In most cases they just do a great job. This goes as far as going with you to your country and get married. But she still wants to support her family. You have to imagine that for a girl such a marriage is a major step (Imagine yourself to live in Thailand in a completely different culture. You would gladly have your holidays there, but you always go back home to your friends and environment). I have seen girls going back because they could not live in such a western society, even when they have the financial security including the support of their family. You have a good chance that you have a satisfactory relation when you integrate them as much at possible with your friends, your family and some other Thai women living near by.

Games and Presents

You can have a lot more fun when you have something to offer to these girls. You can get a lot of attention when you have brought even simple things like wrapped sweets. You will be king when you got some cheap jewellery. Actually the girls will ask you whether this is from Thailand or the high quality stuff from your country. And sure, you should lie about the price of that trinket.

Playing games is just as good. You won't believe what attention I got when I played around with my laser pointer. As the dancing girls see themselves in the mirrors on the wall they will notice that there is some red dot somewhere on their body. Usually some other girl will ask immediately for that pointer and start her own playing. After 20 minutes you know most of the girls in the bar.

Photos

It is generally not allowed to take pictures inside the bars. You can take a photo of your girl outside (of course dressed then), or try to do this as innocently as possible. A good relation with Mama san might help. The girls themselves usually do not object, they even will pose for you. Remember when you use a camcorder in the bar, you should use Manual Focus because it will not focus right in the dim light.

How to find the right girl

Be sure in the first case, what you really want, i.e. big breasts, slim figure, long hair, nice face, outgoing behaviour, English knowledge, etc..

Girls are abundant, you will always find a nicer/more interesting one later, so you will never find your ultimate choice.

Try to find English speaking girls. It is more fun when you can talk. Body language, as nice as this can be, is not sufficient.

Walk around the bars, have a drink in a few of them, just look and find out what is available. Do not try to have drink in every bar, there are too many.

It is better to not choose any girl before 21 hours, then everybody is there and you get the widest selection.

Ask for name (they all have three letter names (nicknames, their real names are not pronounceable), like Lai, Sow, Dau, Kuk, ...), age (usually between 17 and 26) and babies. Mothers typically have a lot of experience, but got belly stripes. They will ask for your name as well, but do not expect them to remember.

Thai girls do not like to be kissed on the mouth (especially the younger ones).

Relation

First of all you have to find the girl you want. Usually you have no choice as the girl(s) chooses you. But when she notices that you are not interested she typically leaves. Then you are free to look around. When you find the girl you like just try to get into visual contact with her. Smiling to her will usually be sufficient to get her over. Otherwise beckon her to come over or ask Mama san. As they usually have a number attached to their body you can easily point them out. Typically you start the relation by paying the girl her Ladies Drink. This does not mean that you will be fixed on this girl. You can easily go on the next bar and spend a Ladies Drink to another girl. Once you have decided to pay the bar fine you are stuck with your girl.

When you have established a relation the girl expects from you that you will always come back to her during you stay. First of all it is her money that she gets from you, and second even in this business jumping from girl to girl is not appreciated (playing butterfly). But keep in mind that you might find your girl in the arms of somebody else when you come the next day. This is their business, so do not complain. As most of the customers will move on after a short while, you will get her later again.

When you want to get rid of a girl because you found a better one, try to avoid the bar the first girl is working. But be not too sure that she still may find you. Remember that in addition the afternoon dancing girl can come from different bars in the vicinity. So in the evening you may find the girl in another place again. And they do walk around to have a look at the other bars. This implies that you should not exchange girls from the same bar. The first girl believes that she was not good enough to you and this causes her a lot of embarrassment. This can go up to the girl cutting her wrist.

Do not expect to find the same girl once you come back in six months. These girls change bars quite often. Then when you do not have pictures, you would not be able to recognize them again anyway. (Different hair style, clothes. ...).

Business

Once you have paid the bar fine, you are free to negotiate with the girl the further activities. You have the options between 'Short Time'(between 500 and 1500 Baht) and 'Long Time'(between 1000 and 2000 Baht) which is typically twice as expensive. Short Time means just one visit to your room (or the room in the bar), and then the girl leaves. Long Time means the girl will stay with you the whole night and leave early in the morning. You should let her go, you will meet her again at the bar in the night again anyway. Keeping her for the day will result in expensive shopping trips.

These girls expect you to shower before business. They do this themselves as well. They like it clean. Actually when you do this together it starts the fun already.

Always use condom. According to the statistics 50 per cent of the girls do have AIDS. Do not play with your life.

Do not be surprised when your girl who dances naked for you in the bar suddenly is to shy to let you see her naked in your room. They always wrap themselves in the bathing towel and remove it only under the blanket. (They actually believe their nakedness is ugly.) So you will have to do quite some convincing that she is beautiful even when naked.

You should remember, that being drunk can destroy the fun of it.

They always offer to accompany you to the airport. This is nice, and you should pay an extra 500 Baht for this. But actually whether the girl stays with you another 60 minutes will not make any difference.

Try to look for older girls, they have more experience and understanding. They are not as tight. Of course it's always an interesting experience to have an 18 year old gigglish girl in bed with you, but actually you will have more fun with the older ones.

When you like the friend of your girl you might consider to ask her along as well. This does not give you any 'butterfly' problems. You yourself might have some problems keeping up with two girls.

Rules

When you do not plan to spend the day with sightseeing activities, stay up till the bar closes (2 o'clock in the morning, some now stay open up to three or four), and sleep long. So you can cut down the time until the bar opens again.

When you arrive the first day, be careful. You will be too excited to make your perfect choice (which is impossible anyway). But typically you will end up with a girl that you want to get rid of next morning already.

So you walk around the bars, see who are there, have a few drinks, and finally select somebody with whom you can imagine to spent the days till you depart.

Toots

You will always be stopped on the street with somebody showing pictures of beautiful naked girls and be asked 'Massage'. Others will ask if you want watches (showing pictures of Rolex and other high value watches), jewellery and tailors.

I never accepted an offer of these people to get a girl from them. It is much more fun to choose yourself, and actually these guys will get them from the bars anyway, but more expensive. Nothing is for free, and they need some money as well. But I must confess that I did buy some jewelry for $1000 US which was worth $750 only. Even the Thai tourist association (TAT) informs you that they do not own any jewelry shop or are related in any way. Concerning watches, they are available on the street anyway, so do not pay any of these toots.

In addition the taxi driver always will ask whether you have a hotel room already. Even if you don't, tell them you have a reservation already, otherwise the hotel is forced to pay them their commission, which you will have to pay afterwards.

But when you want some special services you can basically ask anybody (tourist guides, taxi drivers, hotel personal). There is nothing which is impossible. They will help you, but you will pay for that of course.

Bargaining

Whenever you buy things in Thailand, negotiate the prize. I have paid the following prizes:

Rolex watch 850 Baht
Rado watch 350 Baht
Swiss army knife 100 Baht
Wooden Puzzles (Set of four) 500 Baht

Keep in mind that in the typical tourist areas the prizes will be higher. The best prizes I got at the Night Bazaar in Cjhiang Mai.

Ladyboys

In all these places (Patpong, Nana, Soi Cowboy) you will find at least one bar with Ladyboys. Do not be surprised, they look like beautiful ladies, their tits are amazing, and they go with just as well for Short or Long Time. But when the time comes you may be in for some real experience. In Nana Plaza this is the bar called Casanova in the left corner of the second floor.

Pickpockets

As usual in such an environment there will always be some guys/girls who would take advantage of people being to drunk or uncautious and steal their property. The police tries to control that as much as possible, but it always happens (like in other cities as well). I have met two persons in those 7 years who have had that experience. So never carry anything you really do not need, especially no credit cards as they are not accepted anyway, and always protect your wallet, even when a beautiful lady (/boy) embraces you or grabs your balls. I know one story from one man who was still savoring the sensation when he finaly realized that his money was gone. And by the way, these people do have knifes in their pockets.

So the best way to protect yourself is to stay as sober as possible, do not carry any valuables not required, never keep your wallet in the back pocket and simply avoid potential dangerous situations.

Some Terminology

Thai people have an interesting way to speak English. In addition to their inability to pronounce the R and L correctly, some even have problems with the SH. Just ask some girl to tell you the name of "Hollywood Royal", they break their tongue. Some of their ideocracies with special relation to the bar life are:

Pom Pom Sexual intercourse
Pot Poi Thick belly
Same Same Same thing
Sha Sha slowly
Mau drunk
Falang/Farang foreigner (long nose)
Sister me, Room me my sister, my room
Cola for me? Do you pay me a drink?
Short Time Short Pom Pom (30 minutes to 2 hours)
Long Time Pom Pom with stay over night
Bar Fine, Bar Fee money to be paid to the bar

Some important Thai words
Chok dee cheers
Shan shob khun I like you
Mai shob khun I do not like you
Soie beautiful
Sawasdee / Sawadee Hi
Wan ni today
Waan ni yesterday
Phrong ni tomorrow
Nonn duai khon dai mai May I sleep with you


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The World Sex Guide at worldsexguide.org. Last update: 1998/07/21. Send material to Atta.
1994-98 by Atta. Permission is granted to freely copy, modify, and distribute this document in whole or in part, provided that it is not done for profit and that this entire copyright notice remains attached.
join the fun today by clicking here!

The World Sex Guide at worldsexguide.org. Last update: 1998/07/21. Send material to Atta.
1994-98 by Atta. Permission is granted to freely copy, modify, and distribute this document in whole or in part, provided that it is not done for profit and that this entire copyright notice remains attached.